


The Positively True Adventures of Sometimes not talking About It

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Episode: s17e05 Community Policing, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5011687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separating the game from the truth, for lack of a better saying, was essential to their relationship and his sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Positively True Adventures of Sometimes not talking About It

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently they had more to say so I sat quietly and listened.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Olivia walked out of the bedroom and into the living room.

“I'm eating Noah’s cereal with very little shame. Thank God there was some real milk in the fridge.”

“Hey, soy milk is real…OK, nevermind, you're right.” She sat down beside him on the loveseat. “Can't sleep?”

“Nope.” Rafael shook his head then ate a huge spoonful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He was surprised to see Olivia had something like this on her shelf. He was even more surprised that she had it for Noah, but he knew every once in a while she'd let him pick something for himself at the grocery store. The kid had excellent taste.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Nope.” He shook his head again.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” she asked.

“Nope.”

“Rafi…”

“We don’t always have to talk you know.” He ate more cereal. It was the kind that was perfect between fresh and soggy. You never wanted to let it get too mushy but if it didn’t absorb enough milk it would decimate the roof of your mouth. Right now it tasted perfect; that window wouldn’t be open for long.

Olivia sighed and rubbed his shoulder. This too shall pass. She said that all the time, to herself and others, and meant it. Being in the moment was hard as hell but this wouldn’t be their situation forever. He came back tonight. 

Rafael came back and they salvaged an evening together. It didn’t even feel like they were faking it…being together was good for them even before their relationship turned intimate. She moved her hand up from his shoulder to the nape of his neck. Now Rafael sighed as she stroked the hair there. His hand trembled as he brought the spoon up to his lips.

“I don’t have many people that I can trust and talk to.” She said. “And I mean really trust, something that isn't easy for me. I have Fin and Melinda…I can tell them anything, no judgment or shame. 

“I have Captain Cragen but that’s like telling your dad things so there's always something I'm gonna leave out that he surely already knows and won't call me on. I have Dr. Lindstrom but he's my shrink so he has to be shrinky about things. We can't exactly be friends. I have George, who is thousands of miles away and I hate it because oh my god George is so easy to talk to.”

“You just named more people than I can, Liv.” He glanced at her. “I think you're doing OK.”

“They're all cops; cops and shrinks. What does that say about me?”

“It says you don’t have a lot of time outside of work. That’s not going to change with the promotion. Melinda’s not a cop…she's a doctor. Want some cereal? It’s perfect right now.”

Olivia smiled and opened her mouth. It was perfect, right in that tiny space between crunchy and soggy. It made her want her own bowl but that wasn’t exactly food for this time of night. At least not for her anyway.

“Who do you talk to when you're not sure who to talk to?” she asked.

“Trevor. And there are at least 3 bartenders who probably know way more about me than anyone should. They’ve been good about it. I talk to you.”

“We’re not going to be able to talk about this.”

Rafael knew that, and he didn’t want to talk about it anyway. He was still processing how to feel about Liv’s role in all of this. He knew from her record that she wasn’t a cop who shot first and asked questions later. She seemed a little confused about what was the procedure she managed to follow and bring in suspects alive and the procedures other cops followed and couldn’t. He was afraid if he asked too many questions it would leave a bad taste in his mouth. Rafael had to remind himself that this case wasn’t about Olivia, both of their hurt feelings be damned. Separating the game from the truth, for lack of a better saying, was essential to their relationship and his sanity.

“You wanna borrow Trevor? He's a really good listener, you already have his number, and he won't relay anything you say back to me.”

“You're a good man, Rafael, offering up your best friend like that.” She said, leaning to kiss his cheek. “I’ll take it under advisement.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You didn’t say that, when I said it to you earlier and I got paranoid on the inside. It was probably silly but I did.”

“Don’t you ever doubt my love for you.” Olivia shook her head. “I love you, Rafael. I love you for always, always, always, and a decade after that.”

“That’s a very long time.” He tilted the bowl up to drink the milk. It was embarrassing to do in front of Olivia but when he poured the large bowl of cereal having company wasn’t on his mind. One never wasted cereal milk…that was sacrilege.

“It'll probably go by faster than either of us realize or want it to. You should come back to bed.”

“I'm feeling a little restless; don’t think I'm going to get much sleep tonight. I've got so many active cases and every one of those victims deserve the same justice as the Reynolds family. I can't neglect the three girls in Hell’s Kitchen raped by their dance instructor’s son, or the young Hudson student brave enough to stand up to rape and extreme intimidation. I have Rita Calhoun on my phone daily about the Grant Projects baby case. 

“I wish to God the news would stop calling it that. Her name was Alycia Daniels. She has a name and people deserve to hear it every day on the news. I bet they all remember the name of the bastard who killed her.”

“You need to rest.” With the cereal bowl no longer a barrier, Olivia moved into his arms. Rafael wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder.

“Mi amor.” Rafael kissed her lips. “You go back to bed; I’ll be there in a little while.”

“I thought the point was for us to sleep together tonight.”

“Liv…”

“OK, OK.” she kissed him again. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”

“Thank you.”

She got up from the couch and went back into the bedroom. Closing his eyes, Rafael leaned back and covered his face with his hands. He could use about two days of sleep but that wasn’t realistic. A week where he got about a seven hours a night didn’t sound realistic either but he needed to aim for it. This job wasn’t supposed to kill him. 

Being a workaholic was OK but letting it kill you was not. A three day weekend was coming and since the courts were going to be closed, Rafael was staying home. Maybe he could convince Liv to go away with him though she worked just as much as he did. They could hop a flight to Boston on Friday evening with Noah. He could take them to Harvard; show them all the places he spent his time as an undergrad there. 

They could stay in a hotel suite and order expensive food from room service. Noah would love the Franklin Park Zoo with all the fall foliage and cool animals. They needed to get out of New York City and breathe some different air. It wasn’t a bad idea, Rafael just didn’t know if Olivia would be as excited as he was.

“Come away with me.” He whispered as he climbed back into bed with her. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her but this was something he had to say.

“Anywhere.” Olivia sighed as he spooned behind her. Her hands immediately found his and relished their warmth.

“Me, you, and Noah can take over Boston for a three day weekend. Columbus Day is in a couple of weeks and we could both use the time off. Don’t think too hard, just say yes.”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.” She nodded. “Why would I ever turn down the chance to get away with my boys?”

“I love you.” Rafael held her a little tighter. “Thank you.”

Liv enjoyed few things more than feeling Rafael’s body relax around hers. They fit so well together, two pieces of a complicated puzzle. Getting out of town for a little while was probably a good plan. It was a good plan for them as a couple and Noah would have the best time being the center of happy attention. Work would be so far away, like it didn’t even exist. 

Liv sometimes resisted, even though it was difficult, getting too domestic with Rafael. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to; she did. She just worried that letting their guard down would get them caught. All Hank Abraham needed was a whiff that something was going on and it would take on Salem Witch Trial proportions. So she pulled back when the happily ever afters entered her mind. That was OK for now, it wouldn’t last forever. 

They could both use the three day weekend to enjoy each other’s company and just be a couple. They could be a family. Liv really wanted that with Rafael and Noah, everything else be damned. She would be putting in for the time as soon as she went into work that morning. They were already short-staffed and Rollins was riding a desk but none of that would change if she stayed or went. Her relationship with Rafael might, which was unacceptable.

***


End file.
